What a week…

Brian rested well last night. He is very quiet these days, but in true Brian fashion, he is still striving to make everyone around him comfortable. Its been a huge and sudden adjustment for all of us because I don’t think anyone will disagree with me when I say, usually, Brian is the smartest person in the room, no matter which room that is.

Brain cancer is so strange, its like an alien invader. Its becoming increasingly harder for Brian to communicate. His response time is slow and he needs small doses of communication to compensate for his delayed ability to process. The constant battle for control of his mind must be so exhausting and frustrating for him. But he is still in there. We notice it in the small things. A chuckle, a smile, a kiss.

My week didn’t quite go as planned, but it ended up okay. They couldn’t do the liver biopsy on Wednesday. The location of the lesion made it too risky. Its way up at the top behind my lung, and right by the hepatic vein. So I met with the GU cancer clinic later that afternoon and I feel like I am in such great hands. The urologist came into the room and said, “wow, kiddo, a lot of people love you.” And I feel it. This whole thing is really falling into place. What initially seemed like horrible timing feels like more of a blessing every day. The surgeon said I could wait a few weeks until life slows down. I tried to talk about it with Brian, but he wasn’t able to tell me what he wants me to do. Kim said that she knows that if he were back to normal, he would want me to have the surgery yesterday.

So the plan as of now is to have a left total nephrectomy and surgical biopsy of the liver lesion. The urologist will be assisted by a liver specialist who is new to our area. Then if the liver lesion looks suspicious they can hopefully treat it right then. If its too risky to treat it surgically, I will have radiation. And I imagine chemo is in my future too, but I forgot to ask. One bite at a time. I meet for a consult with the liver guy on Monday, and surgery will be Wednesday. And my urologist promised to get me home as soon as its safe for me. He also said, “oh, and you WILL get a hernia because I know you aren’t going to take it easy for the 6-9 months it will take to heal, so don’t worry, I can fix that later.”

Thursday was my cancer workup with lots of testing. I feel like I got mostly good news. The bone scan was normal, as was the MRI of my brain. The CT chest showed a small 3mm nodule which could be anything or nothing. They will monitor that to make sure it doesn’t grow. The urologist said its just too tiny to do anything about and the oncologist wasn’t overly concerned. I have to believe since this was a workup for a known cancer, if they thought it was a met, they would have mentioned it. So I’m taking that all as good news.

Think of us on Wednesday, Dandies!

Also, does anyone else find it ironic how similar the words Brian and brain are, and how Lindsey and kidney kind of sound alike too? Maybe its just me. haha

11 thoughts on “What a week…

  1. Oh Lindsey, I love your positive outlook. I believe it’s so helpful in hard times. We continue to keep you, Brian and the kids in our prayers along with positive thoughts. I can’t thank you enough for keeping us out-of-staters posted. It means so much to be able to walk through this from across the miles. Some days I wish we could be back in our cubicles at Maui Jim visiting through the glass 💖


  2. Continued prayers for ALL of you! Funny you mentioned name similarities…..I had to re read a few times because I kept reading Brian instead of brain. Love you and praying God’s calm, peace, and comfort amidst all the noise and chaos. Love you


  3. Lindsey, I’m Nancy Johnson’s sister, Jaclyn’s Aunt Donna. I’ve read this blog and a previous one that Nancy shared on Facebook. As a retired English teacher, I have to tell you how I admire your facility for language. Your description of the darkness and the feeling of being under the waves touched me deeply. Having lost my mother, sister, and mother-in-law to cancer, I can relate to much of what you said. Six months after my sister died, my husband lost a kidney to cancer. Fortunately, he’s been cancer-free since then.
    I pray that you will be, too.

    I also greatly admire your courage and faith in the face of your trials. Be assured that I have been and will continue to pray that you and Brian feel God’s tender love for you and that you find strength and comfort in the love of all the wonderful people he has put in your life.


  4. Lindsey, we have never met but I am a WW coworker if your sweet sweet momma:) You, Brian, and entire family are in my prayers many times per day. God has got you safely in the palms of His hands. During this amazingly difficult time for all of you, please hold tight to that realization of all that love your doctor spoke of. I truly believe that is God’s touch, given to you through those that believe in His grace and peace. We will be praying for you and yours without ceasing🙏🙏🙏


  5. Spent time with your mom today and we both tearred up while talking about you and your family. We talked about how God had this plan and we were counting the BLESSINGS along your path in the past, present and in the future. Please know that many are praying for you and your family!


  6. I admire the way that you can express your thoughts. I pray that this is a healing process for you. Pray that God protects you and keeps you Brian and your babies safe.


  7. OMG! Brian and brain and Lindsey and kidney. I always do stuff like that but usually with numbers. Wonder what Peggy Sue will bring?


  8. One of my favorite Scriptures is found in Psalms 118 verse 17 and it says: I, (Lyndsey and Brian) will NOT die, but live to declare the mighty works of the Lord!!! Prayed and praying!!!!!


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