Ethne had her end of year celebration at preschool this week. I’m so proud of her for soldiering on through such a nightmare of a year. We credit her success with wonderful teachers, family, and friends.
I miss Brian so much in these moments. Every single thing is harder without him here. In the most mundane daily tasks and the great big life decisions, I am constantly aware of the huge void he has left in our lives.
Without him, the hard times are harder and the celebrations are bittersweet. I know that grief is transformative and I know my feelings will change over time. I’m getting better at trusting the process and allowing myself to sit with my feelings. And to my surprise, I’m feeling a lot of peace regarding things I can’t control. I have no further capacity for insignificant stress or drama, until the middle of the night at least.
Today, Ethne asked to go to the cemetery. It was so surreal to see my little girl talking to her dad in that place. I know she misses him in her big moments too.